Monday, August 24, 2009

cost/benefit analysis of dating a monk

I developed a theory a few years ago: if a guy is still single in his mid-30s, there is ALWAYS. A. REASON. Date him long enough and you'll find out what it is. Frank, always the chipper devil's advocate, suggested that the specific reason for singledom is more important than the singledom itself-- did he recently pass the bar? become a doctor? get out of prison?

But what if he was a man of the cloth who has decided to enter the secular world? And the debate began: Frank, Marlo and I attempting to decide if dating a former monk would be worth the trouble.

"Plus side: knows how to make delicious beer."
"Downside: only wears robes."
"Plus side: has never seen the female form, thus rendering one goddess-like."
"Downside: sits alone in his room... a LOT."
"Plus side: will be so happy to leave his room that he'll do anything you want."
"Downside: he quit GOD, of all things to quit!"
"Plus side: he can always go back to God and win 3 championships like Jordan."
"Downside: God will always be making passive aggressive comments about how he left."
"Plus side: knows how to survive minimally, thereby making him a cheap date."
"Downside: he knows how to survive minimally, thereby making him a cheap date."
"Plus side: free gruel for life."

The jury's still out.


Alex Berg said...

That is a tough call.

One time when I was at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, a monk pulled a camera phone out of his robes and took a picture of my friend and I; it was shocking.

John said...

I have a separate theory that EVERY person has a reason why they should be single, but that relationships have little to do with reason... even the successful ones.

Also, Tenzin Gyatso, 14th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama.

"If you have a sincere and open heart, you naturally feel self-worth and confidence, and there is no need to be fearful of others."

Tell me that that is not a man after your own heart, Laura. Point to monks for being kickassedly genuine. I would totally date a lady monk.