Tuesday, February 06, 2007

How to Beat a Quick Retreat

My most recent home visit encounter:
Mark, Stuart and I were visiting a couple girls and one of their boyfriends after YF last week because they left early (dramatically, of course) and we wanted to check up on them. We were all standing in the entryway having a friendly wee chat when this guy, who none of us had ever seen before, barges into the house past us, completely bypassing the whole "eye contact" and "saying hello" business. After a minute or two in the kitchen, he yelled to Jacqueline, "JAC! YOU HAVE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING! TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO GET THE F*CK OUT OF THE HOUSE!" (Strangely, at this point the only thing that struck me as odd about the situation was that Jacqueline doesn't really have to go to school unless she wants to. And she definitely would be more likely to be up drinking than going to bed early.)
Jac ran into the kitchen and hissed, "Those are my church friends!" (As if that would be a normal thing to say to her other friends?!) His response was true to form: "I DON'T GIVE A F*CK WHO THEY ARE! TELL THEM TO GET THE F*CK OUT!"
Well we know when we're not wanted; subtle hints aren't lost on us! After a creative apology or two ("Oh, sorry, umm, guess you better be heading to bed or something...") we scooted out.
I am telling you this story because I want you to be forewarned that if upon return to real life my normal interactions with human beings are a bit... shall we say, "stunted," it's not really my fault.

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